Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
