you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
