i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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