U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
