just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
