and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
