He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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