dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
