if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
