My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
