The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
