I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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