Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
