actually, I'm a sock model
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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