I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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