One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
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I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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