so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
