DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
