I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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