you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm sobbing to NWA
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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