I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
