Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
