Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
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I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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