Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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