I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
