please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
