tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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