Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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