Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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