I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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