I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
