I CAN MOONWALK!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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