No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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