we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
