is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
