So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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