Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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