Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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