In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
