Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
