Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
