hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
