I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
