Kiss
Puke
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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