i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
