I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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