dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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