It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize