he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
MIDGETS
????
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
