The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
