Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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