my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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