he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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