just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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