uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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