You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
