If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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