Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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