so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
