I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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