He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
