I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
